i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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