You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
