spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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