Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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