I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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