Can i not drive my cunt home
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
