Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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