The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
