Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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