im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
