hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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