Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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