I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
