happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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