Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
