At least make sure they are 18
Why
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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