we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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