If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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