There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
