thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
