Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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