i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
