my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
