saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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