i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
