it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
