if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
