I should be sponsored by Trojan
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
