Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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