Redeem this text for a blowjob
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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