at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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