you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
