Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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