I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
