Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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