the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
