and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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