If i come over, it means nothing
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
