i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
