Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
