I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
