Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
