ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
