I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize