I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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