Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
we're so committed to being not committed
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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