I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize