Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
