every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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