Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
