Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So squirting runs in the family.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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