Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize