i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
