I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
