the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
