Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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