We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
