I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize