admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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