May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize