If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
