well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
