You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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