you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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