he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
